Travel tips for Iowa visitors

• Contrary to a popular misconception, it is not true that Iowa contains nothing but corn. In fact, a considerable acreage is planted with soybeans.
• On that subject, you should be aware that "walking the beans" is not similar to "walking the dogs."
• Do not panic if your GPS is dead, or if you have forgotten to obtain a road map for Iowa. A simple sheet of graph paper should suffice.
• Turn signals are not completely unknown in Iowa. However, they are generally used as an apology rather than as a warning.
• Upon approaching rural intersections, you may become concerned when the chassis of your vehicle suddenly develops a violent rumbling. This is merely the result of roads that have deliberately been made bad in order to awaken drivers so that they do not miss their turn.
• Some visitors are disappointed to see that Iowa does not have a slogan on its license plates. Unfortunately, "Famous Potatoes" was already taken, and then nobody could decide between the rival claims of "Baja Minnesota" and "Gateway to Nebraska."
• The airline code for Sioux City, Iowa is: SUX.
• Xenia is a Rural Water District, not a Warrior Princess.
• The Stoner Drug Co. is based in Hamburg, Iowa, while the Flatt Tire Center may be found in Des Moines, Iowa.
• Major rivers in Iowa include the Nishnabotna, Volga, and Wapsipinicon. Nevertheless, a dialect of English is widely spoken in many parts of the state.
• Clinton, Iowa was not named for President Clinton, nor was Charles City named after Prince Charles.
• While Sac City is the county seat of Sac County, Story City is not the county seat of Story County. However, Story City is at least located in Story County, but the city of Des Moines is nowhere near Des Moines County.
• The city of Dresden in Saxony, noted for its architectural and artistic heritage, is located on the Elbe River, so Germans refer to it as "Florence on the Elbe." Although the city of Ames, Iowa, located on the Skunk River, also boasts a number of fine buildings and art collections, it is best not to call it "Florence on the Skunk."
• Speaking of Ames, Iowa, you may be well advised to avoid that town if you have been baptized. It has a sports arena called the "Hilton Coliseum," and a mysterious business called "Ames Christian Supply." One envisages a Friday phone call to this business from the Coliseum manager: "Well, we're almost ready for tomorrow's show. The lions are groomed and hungry, so how many Christians can you supply?"

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